080F! 080F! 080F!

That's what Christina and I were chanting yesterday after ordering our swimmers!!! It just sounds good! O eighty F! They should be getting here at least by the 14th of November! I'm really excited! Hopefully this is it! I'm getting a massage on Friday and then again probably on next thursday. I just want to stay relaxed! Wish us luck!

That wasn't so bad....

On Sunday, we went over to Christina's brother's house and I met baby Ethan for the first time. As soon as I sat down, he brought the baby out and gave him to me. I didn't even have time to think. When I saw that baby, I wasn't jealous any more. He was sooo cute! Now I want a baby REALLY BAD!

SOOOOO.... we've decided to get back on the train and try this month. I don't care if I take another job in another city and I'm pregnant. We'll make it work! Today is CD2. I'm a little worried because last month my cycle was only 29 days long and it's usually 32-33. Hopefully I don't ovulate too early this month. I guess I'll just make sure the swimmers get here a little bit earlier than usual. My technique this month is to be stress free! I'm getting 2 massages and I'm going to sleep a lot! :) Hopefully that will help!

PS... I hate when straight people try to tell me how to get pregnant! Geez! Like I don't know! I hate it when they say, "we had to try for a year!" Oh poor you! You had to have sex every month with the person you love... that must suck! ( sorry, I've been getting a lot of that lately) :)

I hate being jealous!

Soooo... Christina's brother's wife had her baby last night. It really really bothered me. I'm very jealous about it and I don't know how to get over it! I don't think I can go see that baby! I'm mean jealous, not nice jealous. My friend, Lisa, is pregnant and I'm jealous of her, but it's a nice jealousy. I'm happy for her mostly. It doesn't help that christina's brother is super obnoxious and I can't even stand to be around him. Now he has something that I want and I don't like it! I hope I can get over this soon! It's making me miserable!

Some good news... I have an interview today. It's for a job in Atlanta. I'm pretty nervous about it. I'm mostly nervous about having to move. It's such a big hassle, but when I think about staying here I feel sick. So which is the lesser of two evils? We'll have to sell our house and pack all the animals up. Big big hassle! Oh well. I think our quality of life will be better! :)

By the way... thank you for all the nice comments! They really make my day when I read them. :)

probably on hold again...

We've decided to think about moving. I dislike my job very much and right now would be a perfect time to relocate. That means no baby. :( It would be very difficult to start a new job in a new city in a new state while being pregnant. So we're going to wait and see what happens when my resume gets out there somewhere. I shouldn't have a hard time finding a job because I've seen plenty of ads for asbestos analysts. We just have to make sure we are careful about where we choose to live. I want to go somewhere that we can afford, but also has a more open and welcoming atmosphere towards gays and lesbians. California is probably out of the question. We're thinking Dallas, TX. I never would've imagined myself saying I want to move to Dallas!! Weird.
So, if anyone knows anything about Dallas, let me know! :)

I apologize for not writing in such a long time.... things have been quite stressful! We're still getting used to Christina working from home. So far, money has not been an issue, but we haven't hit the slow season yet. We're busy planning our spring vacation with my sister and her husband. We're going to Florida for a week. I'm so excited about that. (Hopefully I'll be pregnant too).

We're planning on trying to conceive this month. I am on CD3. We haven't ordered yet, but we probably will tonight. I hope this is it... I'm too tired of dealing with this.

My best friend at work is having bad issues at home. She has a 7 and 3 year old plus she's 4 months pregnant and her husband decided to leave her. He either moved out last night or tonight. I feel so bad for her because she has no idea why he's leaving! I told her I would help her in any way. It's going to be very difficult for her.

I'm having difficulties at work. I don't like my job.... too bad it pays the bills. I'm going to try not to think about it and concentrate on my photography so I can get out of here. I'm hoping that by 2009 we can afford for me to do photography full time.

So that's what's going on with me. I'll be blogging soon about which donor we choose!

Well, here comes AF! Cramps and all! I haven't seen the bright red flow yet, but the brown is there. Who knows, maybe I'll be one of those people that thought she was coming but then turned out to be preggers! (Yeah Right!)
There are some positives in my life right now, so I can't be too down about it. My birthday is tomorrow! I'm having a birthday party next saturday. So I'll be able to have a few adult beverages. That should be fun. I have the whole week off of work because we're tearing up the carpet and replacing it with laminate wood flooring. That will take up a lot of my time and energy so I won't really be able to think about not being pregnant. The floors are going to be awesome when they're done! We have done the two spare bedrooms already. Today we're going to start the living/dining room. Once that is finished, we'll only have the master bedroom to do. I'm so excited! It's really fun doing home improvement projects yourself. I couldn't imagine paying someone a crap-ton of money to do it for us! I love saving money! :)

I hate BFN's!

I got another one this morning! I don't mind them at 8 or 9DPO because that's usually too early to test. But I HATE them at 13 DPO! I don't understand why I've been having all these cramps! It's really confusing. I never get cramps before my period. They always come after. Poor Christina thinks I'm losing it. Every time she sees me on the internet I'm looking at photos of pee sticks! I started crying yesterday because that was the first time I let myself think that I might NOT be pregnant. I've been trying to stay positive because everything little thing helps! Last year when we tried, it wasn't that big of a deal because we were using fresh sperm and it wasn't costing an arm and a leg. This year is totally different! It really sucks to spend that much money and have it not work! UGGHHH!
Well, I know it's not over until AF shows. Maybe she'll show a day early!