Well, here comes AF! Cramps and all! I haven't seen the bright red flow yet, but the brown is there. Who knows, maybe I'll be one of those people that thought she was coming but then turned out to be preggers! (Yeah Right!)
There are some positives in my life right now, so I can't be too down about it. My birthday is tomorrow! I'm having a birthday party next saturday. So I'll be able to have a few adult beverages. That should be fun. I have the whole week off of work because we're tearing up the carpet and replacing it with laminate wood flooring. That will take up a lot of my time and energy so I won't really be able to think about not being pregnant. The floors are going to be awesome when they're done! We have done the two spare bedrooms already. Today we're going to start the living/dining room. Once that is finished, we'll only have the master bedroom to do. I'm so excited! It's really fun doing home improvement projects yourself. I couldn't imagine paying someone a crap-ton of money to do it for us! I love saving money! :)

I hate BFN's!

I got another one this morning! I don't mind them at 8 or 9DPO because that's usually too early to test. But I HATE them at 13 DPO! I don't understand why I've been having all these cramps! It's really confusing. I never get cramps before my period. They always come after. Poor Christina thinks I'm losing it. Every time she sees me on the internet I'm looking at photos of pee sticks! I started crying yesterday because that was the first time I let myself think that I might NOT be pregnant. I've been trying to stay positive because everything little thing helps! Last year when we tried, it wasn't that big of a deal because we were using fresh sperm and it wasn't costing an arm and a leg. This year is totally different! It really sucks to spend that much money and have it not work! UGGHHH!
Well, I know it's not over until AF shows. Maybe she'll show a day early!

Tested again... 11DPO

And I think I saw a very very pale line. Christina thinks I'm crazy. But I really think I saw it! I went and bought 5 dollar store tests. We have one digital, but I won't use that until I get two lines on the cheapies. So anyways, if it was there, hopefully it will be there tomorrow even brighter.
I did have some weird things happen yesterday. I felt like my period was going to start at any moment! I don't ever feel like that until my period actually starts, so that was really weird. I had little cramps (not as bad as AF cramps) and I just felt like blood was going to come shooting out of me! I also woke up in the middle of the night wanting a pickle. That was weird.
When I think about getting that BFP, I almost start crying. Then I think about it for a bit longer and can't imagine that ever happening to us! It seems like it's so close but yet so far away. I can't wait!

The wait is still not over...

Today I am 9DPO... I did test this morning, not expecting much and I didn't get much. BFN. But that's ok. It's still definately too early. I don't mind testing a bunch because I can always convince myself it's too early! :)
I've had even more symptoms! That gives me hope. Yesterday I was so bloated I could hardly stand up straight and button my pants. I've also had this light headache for about 3 days. I usually don't get bloated until after I've started my period. So that is definately weird for me. My face broke out this weekend. That usually doesn't happen until right before my period. I've also been constipated which is weird for me too. Hmmmm.... hopefully this is it. I am NOT going to test again until Thursday. If it's a BFN on Thursday then I'll test on Saturday. I'm expecting my period on Monday. So we'll see! :)
Christina started her new job today! They hired her on the spot. She didn't even go to the other interviews. So she is now working at a little coffee shop from 6am-1pm. It's perfect because it's the same hours as me and right down the street from me! So we can carpool! :) Hopefully she'll like it there!

Good news about jobs...

Things are getting better for us. Slowly but surely the time is passing. I'm having little tiny symptoms that I'm probably making up in my head! :)

Our biggest news is that we started up our own wedding videography business called Bella Bleu Productions. Christina is very excited and I'm excited for her. She's always known she has a special talent that she could turn into something profitable and now she's found it! I'm so proud of her! Hopefully by 2009 I'll be doing photography on my own and we might even add some DJ's. It's very exciting and gives us hope for the future!

Christina also has two job interviews next week. We can't afford for her to work on just videography. So until we can, she has to work a full time job also. It will be hard work, but worth it in the long run.

Unfortunately, if this month doesn't work, we'll have to put the baby-makin on hold for a little while. It's just too much money to be throwing around when we don't even know if she'll have a job next month. Hopefully we won't have to put it on hold for too long. Maybe just a month or two.

Can I test yet?

I am about to make it through day 2, 2dpo. Oh lord! This is taking so long! I keep thinking I feel something...like there's a little bug in the left side of my uterus! Why am I feeling like that? My left boob had a shooting pain in it this morning. UGGH! I forgot how awful this wait is.
I bought new book today. Maybe that will help me with the wait. Christina said she is not worried because she just knows... whatever. I wish I 'just knew".

And now we wait....

Well it's done... all $1000 worth of spermies are now doing their job (hopefully). I totally forgot how horrible this tww thing is! BLLLEGGHH! I'm only 1 DPO... can I test yet?!?! Geez louise! Maybe I'll forget about it in a few days and live life like nothing is different. Maybe not...
I'll be testing on my birthday which is August 28th. So I'll either have a really good birthday or pretty crappy birthday. Christina swears this time worked. She said that everything was perfect. Hopefully the egg that was released was a good one! :) I felt really fertile this time (if that matters at all).
Here are the details...
-Tested with smiley face OPK on saturday at 3pm
-First AI with IUI format was Saturday night at 10pm. Cervix was not real open and CM was still a little white. Went directly to sleep afterwards.
-Second AI with ICI format was Sunday at noon. Cervix was REALLY open and lots of clear CM. Used preseed. Took a nap for 2 hours afterwards.
-Third AI with IUI format was Sunday at 10pm. Cervix was still REALLY open but not much CM, so we used preseed again. Christina put the catheter in my cervix about 1/4 inch. Went to sleep right afterwards.

UUGGGHHHHH!

Christina got laid off yesterday. We kind of knew it was coming. Her boss is a douche bag. Basically what has happened is he has over-extended himself and he can't afford his lifestyle. So instead of downgrading his life, he's going to get rid of his employees. In the long run, this will hurt him. She does so much for him that he doesn't realize. I'm excited that she won't be working for him any longer because I hate him and I have for a long time. It's just really bad timing, though. We're getting ready to try to conceive and we were going to refinance our house soon. It's just crappy. I just hope she can find a job that she will be happy at. I don't want her to go back into the restaurant business. It's way too stressful! I'm pretty sure everything will work out to be better than it was before, but in the meantime, it's just a little stressful!

Spermies + Egg = BABY

I feel so strange today! I am totally at ease! I feel like nothing is going to get in my way of getting pregnant, so why worry about it! I'm usually very anxious about it. It doesn't even bother me to think about nearly $1000 possibly being lost down the toilet. I am sooo ready for this! Bring it on!

Christina is a little stressed. She said the other night, "what happens if this works?". Well..... WE HAVE A BABY! :) I can't wait to be pregnant! It's going to be so amazing!

I talk to my uterus everyday, and so does Christina. I'm hoping it will help. I'll let you know. :)