Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who has been leaving me comments! It really helps and I value your input!

We're going to put Tyler in therapy as soon as we get legal custody. Everything is in the works right now. All the paperwork is on the way to his parents to get signed. We're a little nervous because the lawyer had to say that his parents were unfit to raise him and then they have to sign that! We're hoping they won't read it all. Everything in the papers is true, but it's hard to read. I just couldn't see them NOT signing it because then he'll have to move back home. His mom is loving it without him there. She doesn't even call! UGGHH!

Another sad story about Tyler... on Christmas eve, we went to Fayetteville where Tyler's family lives. On the way down there we were telling him how much we would miss him because he wasn't spending the night with us. I mentioned that I probably wouldn't be able to sleep because I had no one to read a story to! He was being brave, as usual, and said he wouldn't miss us and his mom would read him a bedtime story. (yeah right). So the next day when we went to pick him up, he said he didn't even need a bedtime story to fall asleep at his parents house! Later, he got mad at us and mentioned that his mom said she didn't have any books and was too tired anyways to read to him! UGGGHH! It makes me so mad that he tried to get her to read him a story JUST ONE NIGHT... and she wouldn't even do it. Poor thing.

Christmas is over...

Our's was pretty good. Tyler had a meltdown the day before christmas which didn't make santa claus coming fun at all. He constantly repeated that he doesn't care if santa comes or not because he never brings anything anyways. When he woke up in the morning and saw his bike sitting by the tree he didn't think it could possibly be for him. It was sad.

Christmas at Christina's parents house was weird because we were there and Tyler's parents were there. They let him do anything he wanted to like eat 14 cookies before dinner, not finish his plate, run through the house... etc. Everytime we told him to do something he would basically laugh at us. It was very difficult. He also called his mom mommy and his dad daddy. He never does that! The poor thing... he just wanted them to pay attention to him and they still wouldn't. They could care less. I feel really sorry for him. He was surprisingly good after he spent the night at their house. We expected a crying fit to get him to leave with us. But he was ready.

I can't wait for him to start school. He's very difficult to keep happy. He has to be doing something at all times, which drives me crazy. He won't just sit and read a book or talk to us. There has to be TV, games, PS2, etc. going on. We have a lot of things we need to work on. The biggest thing is his temper tantrums. If we tell him to change his clothes, change his shoes, we're going to target, or basically anything he doesn't want to do... he'll stomp and yell and act like a 3 year old. It's obnoxious! We don't know how to react to it at the moment. After the ordeal is over we try to talk about it, but it doesn't seem like it's getting through. Should we punish him at that moment? I was thinking of stopping him in his tracks and telling him he has a do over or a 2nd try... something like that. It's hard to punish him because he doesn't know any better, but at the same time we have to correct him! I don't know! If anyone knows of any good books about parenting troubled children, let me know!

Sorry for the long post... I need to post more often.

Christmas is coming..

And everything around here is ok. Tyler has been here for a week. It's the longest we've ever had him! His personality is really coming out. There are certain things he does to get us to show him affection. He'll jump on us when he wants a hug and sticks his tongue out when he missed us. At bedtime, he swears he doesn't want a hug or kiss, then as we're walking out of the room he says, "PSYCHE!". It's very cute! He's a really good kid and we feel so much more complete with him in our house. It's pretty nice!

We are going to Christina's mom and dad's house on Christmas eve and spending the night. Hopefully Tyler won't want to spend the night with his mom. I will worry to death! He feels like ours now and it's sad that I don't want him to stay at his mom's house, but he has to sleep on the floor or couch and it's so stinky over there!

The lawyer has all the papers drawn up and his parents will be served next week. The lawyer said that once we have permanent custody, his parents will have a really hard time getting him back. They will have to totally turn around their life and show proof! If they eventually get their lives cleaned up, I would totally be ok with him going back to them. But until then, I'm happy he's here. I think what is going to happen is his mom and dad will totally forget about him and we'll end up adopting him. It's really sad, but I can see it happening.

We bought his christmas present from Santa yesterday... it's a really cool mongoose bike! He's going to die! :)

Sorry for the rambling! I'm just excited!

What's new...

Well, I started my period this past monday (dec.10). The good thing about this month is that I would have been ok with either a BFN or a BFP. Obviously a BFP would be fabulous, but the time definately isn't right. (if it's ever right).

Nothing new in the job front. I applied to a million places, but nobody is going to hire anyone right before christmas. Because who gets fired right before christmas?! ME!!! :) I'm over the whole getting fired thing. I've decided that I talk too much and some would say that I gossip a little too much, but I don't think I should have been fired. I'm happy that I'm no longer working there. I am thinking about teaching piano full time. I get paid quite a bit per hour to do that, and if I pick up more hours that would make up for my missed salary. It's just difficult going from a guaranteed salary to an hourly job. Oh well... you do what you gotta do! Also, I won't get much of a pay check in January, which will be tough. Ugghh!! I just don't want to move right now because I don't want to make a hurried, rushed, bad decision.

We have a meeting on Tuesday with the lawyer to get the papers for Tyler. We are borrowing money from Christina's parents... again. My aunt would love to help us, but her husband lost his job and she's afraid she might get laid off. He's with us right now because he got in trouble at school and his mom unenrolled him. He punched a girl because she gets in his face and makes fun of him. I think it's just now starting to sink into his little brain that he's going to stay here. Sometimes at night he cries for his mom and says he wants to go home. The worst part is that he thinks it's because he's been a bad kid. He keeps saying that if only he behaved he could stay with his family. We have to work on that. We're definately getting him counseling! It's going to be really tough for a while but we hope we can make a difference before it's too late!

Sorry for not updating... I've been depressed/ busy/ sleeping/ etc. :)

Well, on Wednesday I was fired from my job. It came as a shock! I've never been fired before. The reason they gave me was because I spoke to a coworker about the boss's financial involvement in his sister's company. It was just a 'what if' conversation and apparentally she took it to him. He said I was questioning his business ethics and there was no place for me there. Atleast I was already looking for other jobs. The only problem is that I need a job really really soon and most of the jobs I've been looking at are far away. It's very stressful not having a job and now I'm even more stressed because I'm facing a move. I don't know what we're going to do. I'm very worried about money. Right now Christina's business is slow and it won't start picking up until about March or April. UGGGHH! I suppose what doesn't kill me will make me stronger... right?

9DPO

DYING TO TEST!!!! I was doing great! I wasn't even thinking about it... then BAMMM! OH LORD I WANNA TEST! It doesn't help that someone on the NW board got a BFP on 9DPO. I need to keep my mind off of it! Atleast until Saturday! Geez!

Tyler is getting closer to us!

Christina spoke with Tyler's dad yesterday. He said he will sign the consent papers. He said he only wants what is best for Tyler. We're so excited!! Now we have to come up with $3000. My aunt said she would give us a loan. I just hate asking for money. I guess it's not like I'm buying a TV or something. It's for a good reason. And we could pay her back fairly quickly.

When Christina was speaking to Tyler's mom on the phone last night she heard his stepdad yelling at him. He said, "You didn't F***in forget your homework! You F***in forgot it on purpose so you wouldn't have to do it!"
That poor thing! NO wonder he hates doing his homework. Who speaks to a child like that?! Atleast we're doing something about it!

7 DPO

I think I've had a few pregnancy symptoms. Last night I was having some weird twinges that I usually don't get in my abdomen area. The biggest thing is my cervix. From the very first cycle I started tracking, I would check my cervix. After I ovulate, I do the reverse of what most people do. Instead of my cervix dropping and becoming hard and closed, my cervix will stay high, soft, and open until the day I start my period. I specifically remember this because it has given me false hope a few times! :) Yesterday and the day before I checked my cervix. Both days it was still high, hard as a rock, and tightly closed. This is very unusual for me! I really hope it's a sign! :) Wish me luck.

The meeting about Tyler.

Thursday we met with a lawyer to discuss how we can get custody of Tyler. She said it's definately doable, but it will cost $3000. She wants to try and get sole, legal custody. The only road block we may have is Tyler's dad. We have to get him to sign papers that say it's ok for him to live with us. I think we're going to appeal to him by saying we don't want any child support or any sort of financial anything. He can be totally free of him. Another dilemma is the money. We aren't super rich right now because of TTC, Christmas, and Christina's business is really slow right now. We're basically living off of my income. It's kind of tight. When we were home for Thanksgiving, my aunt said she would loan us the money. I hate asking for money. Especially since her husband just got laid off. She said it wasn't a problem, though. It's a tricky situation.

Tyler is really misbehaving this weekend. We've grounded him from his PSP and PS2 because he almost beat up a girl at school. He just got in trouble with Christina because he threw a fit because she had to go to the grocery store. He honestly acts like a 3 year old sometimes. It's really difficult because he gets no discipline at home, then he comes here and we give him lots of praise when he's good, but we definately discipline him when he's bad. I think he acts up at home because his parents give him NO attention and the only way he can get any attention is if he is bad. It's just a horrible situation. We definately need to get him here for good.